Happy mid-April 2022!
As you may have already guessed, this is Part 2 of the series “How to make a great first impression" using PolyMatchMaker.
Today we’ll focus on updating your PolyMatchMaker profile and why doing so could lead to multiple successes!
A brief history of PMM profile sections
PolyMatchMaker profiles contain 2 sections. The first, a “biography” section, followed by a “seeking” section.
When PMM began, the original owners looked at profiles as a way to self-express who a member is, what they offer, what they like/love, and what makes them happy as well as a completely separate section on seeking.
The thought process behind this is rather simple:
Tell the reader who you are at your core, then follow that up with what you would like in a “connection.”
What makes a good biography?
HONESTY about what makes you happy
• What makes you happy in this life?
• What do you enjoy doing?
CLARITY of who you are at your core
• What makes you, you?
• What are your personal goals?
• What are your professional goals?
• What are your boundaries?
• What is your history in non-monogamy and what drives you to build on or start a multi-partner/network?
• Are you polyamorous (non-monogamist, swinger, hedonist, etc.) and what is your personal definition of it?
• Remember to use appropriate keywords here. Keywords are searchable via PMM's search function. (You can check out a great many keywords on the PMMs Glossary page if you are curious)
CONSIDERATION about why someone should reach out
• What makes you a good short/long term partner, friend?
• What can you do for your short/long term partner, friend?
>>>>>>>This type of information will attract the right kind of interest in you!
What makes a good seeking section?
HONESTY about what you ultimately want
• What is your ultimate goal when it comes to finding another connection?
• Are you willing to alter your ultimate goal to be happy?
• Is each relationship unique in that you are open to each new person having their own independent connection to you?
CLARITY about what you expect
• What exactly is your level of expected intimacy, if any?
• Do you have special or specific intimacy interests and what exactly are they?
• Are these special or specific intimacy interests expected to be reciprocated?
• Are you expecting an eventual live-in situation or are independent living arrangements fine?
CONSIDERATION about boundaries
• Are you open to traditional and non-traditional intimacy or connections?
• Are you open to connections outside of your area and willing to travel and/or have online connections?
• How do you feel about new connections having their own lives, families, etc.
COLLABORATION with a potential connection
• What do you want to do, learn, be a part of, with your new short/long term partner, friend?
• What are you willing to accept and not accept from a new short/long term partner/friend?
>>>>>This type of information will help someone see if they align with what you want!
Try using language that is helpful.
AVOID DEMANDS & ABSOLUTES without context. It can make you look inflexible.
• Avoid words like "must" and "only."
o Example: You must like/love/do xyz...
INSTEAD use less aggressive tones
• I/we like "this." It would be amazing if you liked that too!
• I/we have kids, so kid-friendly would be best as they are part of my/our daily lives.
• I/we have a strong belief in "this" and it would be a deal-breaker if my/our partner wasn't into this as well.
>>>>>These are examples of varied levels of boundary statements. Choose what type of language feels right for you.
Essentially, use of "I" versus "you" statements is best when creating great profiles! Lean heavily on "I/we" statements and less on the "you must" demands.
Want a template? Copy/Paste the following.
Alter as you see fit and fill in the blanks
Hi! I/we are (FIRST NAMEs HERE)! Great to meet you and thanks for looking at my/our profile.
The 3 things that make me/us happy in life are:
My/our personal/professional and/or short/long term goals are:
I/we joined PMM because I/we identify as (Also explain your non-monogamous history here too):
I/we offer the following to a potential partner/friend:
I/we would very much like to find a partner/friend that is into:
My/our end goal would be to:
My/our intimacy expectations are (Speak to anything here. We are all adults.):
I/we are looking for connections in these areas (or where you are open to including online):
I/we are ok with the following types of connections (includes closed, open, group dynamics):
How do you update your profile?
1 - Log into your account
2 - You will be taken directly to your "Dashboard."
3 - Five buttons down is "Edit your profile."
Got questions about this? Feel free to send in a ticket via the Contact Us button at the top of the site to create a ticket.
(in alphabetical order only)
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Ukrainian Lives Matter ALWAYS
Non-Monogamous, Consensual Non-Monogamous, Ethical Non-Monogamous, Ethically Non-Monogamous, Responsible Non-Monogamy, Polyamorous, Poly, Polyamory, Open Relationships, Multi-partnered, Triad, Quad, Policy-fi, Network Dating & Relationships.