What's Your Non-Mono Pre-Dating Checklist?
By TeamPMM on Tuesday March 22, 2022

Hi There!

Today's PolyMatchMaker topic is on self-reflection and checklists.

How it starts:
As we grow into adulthood, we are often challenged, due to life's circumstances, to take a self-inventory into who we are as individuals and what is expected of us by our partners, peers, and in some cases, family. Thereafter, we weigh this information and make the best decisions for our own personal growth, as well as our own happiness.

This self-reflection and deep understanding evolves with each new and unique experience that we encounter as we move through life's journey.

We here at PolyMatchMaker know from personal experience that one learns a lot from being a part of the Non-Mono Community.

How to manage what we want:
Once we have a clear understanding of ourselves and who we want to be, we can write these details into lists as a path/roadmap to our own personal goals.

We can also generate checklists to make sure that we ourselves are ready for new and exciting things that come into our life such as a brand new, shiny human!

As an Ethical Non-Monogamist, you know that each person you meet will have their own perspective on Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM).

Therefore, we here at PolyMatchMaker have created this handy-dandy ENM Preparation Checklist just for you. (abridged)

THE ENM PREPARATION CHECKLIST by PolyMatchMaker.com (v1,abridged)
Answer each of the following from your own singular perspective.

When seeking out new partners:
1 - Do I have enough time and space in my life to invest in someone new?
2 - How will pursuing a new person affect my current life circumstances?
3 - Am I open to a new or different interpretation of ENM?
4 - Am I comfortable with being “outed?"
5- At what level of connection am I seeking, or am I open to seeing what happens?
6 - Do I have any restrictions to meeting new people, and am I ok with these restrictions?

Congrats, you met someone:
1 - Have I verbally expressed interest to that person and clearly conveyed my intent?
2 - Has this person verbally expressed an interest in communicating with me and clearly conveyed their intent?
3 - Have we both talked about personal emotional, physical, and intimate boundaries, and am I ok with their truth and vice-versa?
4 - Am I comfortable in a public setting with this person?
5 - Am I comfortable in a private setting with this person, and if not, why? (Always trust your gut)

Awesome! Now you “may” want some type of relationship with this person:
1 - Are we both on the same page as to our short and long term objectives? (As in – love then relationship, strictly FWB, casual encounters etcetera)
2 - Do I have any personal jealousy triggers, and have I shared them with this person and vice-versa?
3 - Have we visually shown each other STI/D paperwork? (Yes, even if sexual intimacy is limited)
4 - Is introducing this person to my existing partners and/or friends important to me? To them?
5 - Do I think this person would get along with my existing partners and/or friends? What happens in a best or worst case scenario?
6 - Am I open to meeting their existing partners and/or friends? What happens in a best or worst case scenario?
7 - Have we talked about personal time-constraints like physical availability?

While this is absolutely not an exhaustive list of questions, it is a great starting point.

Want more checklists and questionnaires? Let us know by using the Contact Us ticket system with what types of checklists you want added.



Got questions about this? Feel free to send in a ticket via the Contact Us button at the top of the site to create a ticket.

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