After so many years at the wheel of PolyMatchMaker.com and watching Hollywood, and, in some cases, the media send mixed messages regarding ethical non-monogamy (ENM), it’s hard not to get cynical at yet another attempt to describe the ups and downs of our relationship choices.
Today, at approximately 4:00pm in Clackamas, OR I can officially say that I left a movie theater with a huge smile on my face and tears rolling down my eyes. Why? Because “Professor Marston and his Wonder Women” gave a real-world example of the hopes, desires, pitfalls, and triumphs in what successful ethical non-monogamous relationships could look like.
Even though the script may be a work of fiction, I highly suggest seeing this movie. Whether you have been practicing ENM or any of its sub-sets including but not limited to, polyamory (poly), ethical swinging, ethical hedonism, and ethical relationship anarchy for a long while or are just interested in the subject of multi-partner relationships this would be a good grasp at what it takes to make long lasting multi-partnership work.
Without giving away too much, there are some really good lessons displayed within the movie.
1. Communication. Both Professor and Mrs. Marston were psychologists. They believed that communication of feelings and truths were paramount to begin and continue their journey into ethical non-monogamy
2. Marriage privilege aka couples privilege aka veto power can hurt everyone. Partners that are not legally bound are not less than. When they are treated as such, or even forced from the relationship, everyone involved is affected and devastated. No one wants to be second – period. Stop this destructive way of dealing with multi-partner relationships.
3. You will be found out, have faith in your partners. Someone, someday is going to find out that you are an ethical non-monogamist. The second you truly understand that it’s not a fetish, but a way to express your deepest heart, you’ll be strong enough to deal with it. Do not be afraid to also lean on your partners to hold each other up!
4. Love, real love, is not a game. If you are in this for sexual gratification, make sure that your partners know early on and that boundaries are set. However, if you are in this to find and express the potential for love in more than one person then stick to it.
5. There is a difference between sex and love. While this film focused on aspects of D/s due to the Professors desires to highlight his DISC theories (Google it, too long to explain here) it isn’t what makes this movie so captivating. What makes this movie gold is simply that, in the end, these three amazing souls wanted to and successfully built a life together.
A special thank you to Angela Robinson for this incredibly meaningful story as well as Andrea Sperling and Amy Redford for the production and Annapurna Pictures for making it happen.
It was time for a great story – it was delivered.
Until next time,
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This blog was written by a member of TeamPMM on October 16 2017 and all content is the property of ChronoViking LLC. PolyMatchMaker® is a registered trademark