Getting the response you want!
By Abbie_Masse on Wednesday September 03, 2014

Getting the response you want!

Follow these steps on making a great first impression and it should help your success rate via Pokes and PMM mail.

1. Keep your "biography" section under 1000 characters or 200 words.
--a. To some members this may seem like a lot of text, to others very little. Here is the explanation:
----------i. When one takes the time to fill out an appropriate biography, it displays a sense of self-awareness. Biography areas are there for you to promote yourself, your goals, and your aspirations - not what you are looking for.
----------ii. If a biography is too short, you may come across as someone not really interested in pursuing a date.
----------iii. If a biography is too long, you may come across as arrogant. In addition, most online readers are used to short and concise reading. If your biography takes too long to read, you may get passed over.

2. Keep your "seeking" under 1000 characters or 200 words for the exact same reasons as listed above.
--a. In addition, though it is appropriate to list deal-breakers within the "seeking section", make sure that even those are reasonable. You may be hurting yourself by setting too many limitations and coming across as someone seeking perfection instead of a real human connection.

3. It's great to have long-term aspirations but why not just focus on getting a first date?
--a. Reading a mandatory or even desired end goal to any relationship is scary, even to ethical non-monogamists! Try to avoid stating things like "must be willing to relocate", "must move in with", "must love (enter person(s) here)". Focus instead on what traits you are looking for in a person. Think about their values, ethics, hobbies, and likes.

4. Remember what it was like to date,
--a. Think about the excitement of dressing up and taking someone out to a coffee, movie, concert, etcetera. Try to incorporate that excitement into your biography.

5. Write about what you have to offer to the right someone(s).
--a. Stating that you own a home is fine, but you may get better replies to your pokes and messages if you list offerings such as, but not limited to: "I can offer a shoulder", "I'm a great listener", "I am a wonderful communicator", "I have an awesome collection of (enter here) and I would love to tell you about it."

6. Add keywords into your biography that others would use in our search tool. Examples would be:

Remember, taking steps towards becoming an Ethical Non-Monogamists can be hard and scary for those just coming to terms with the fact that it's ok to love more than one person at a time. Try to write your biography and seeking sections in a way that other members may find interesting and insightful without being overpowering or underwhelming. The more honest you are about your core self, your needs, and your desires from a place of self-awareness, the better chance you have of a reply to that Poke or PMM mail.

Abbie Masse

Non-Monogamous Relationships & Dating
Ethical Non-Monogamous Relationships & Dating
Responsible Non-Monogamous Relationships & Dating
Polyamorous Relationships & Dating
Open Relationships & Dating
Multi-partnered Relationships & Dating
Triad Relationships & Dating
Quad Relationships & Dating
Network Relationships & Dating

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