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Polyamory, Open Marriages, & Non-Monogamy

Spiritual PolyamorySpiritual Polyamory
by Mystic Life
Spiritual Polyamory is a powerful, groundbreaking work, certain to challenge and stimulate members of both the "poly-curious" and polyamorous communities. Mystic Life takes you on a journey into honesty, awareness and self-exploration. You will be encouraged to explore your true beliefs about love, jealousy, sex and letting go of control.

The New Love Without LimitsPolyamory: The New Love Without Limits: Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships
by Deborah M, Dr. Anapol
Love Without Limits is a solid introduction to polyamory. Polyamory is the practice of having multiple ethical, honest, non-monogamous relationships. Making polyamorous relationships work can be difficult for many people... they bring up issues not always faced in monogamous relationships, and poly families often have few role models and friends who can provide experienced advice. This makes books like this one extremely important. Topics covered include ethics, how to tell if polyamory is right for you, skills for successfully managing polyamorous relationships, jealousy, managing transitions from monogamy to non-monogamy, coming out, and many more.

The Ethical SlutThe Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities
by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt
One of the many strengths of this book for many readers is its very direct, step-by-step explanations of (for example) negotiating types of sexual behavior. There's also some very interesting material about jealousy, insecurity, and some interesting thoughts about where those feelings come from.

Open MarriageOpen Marriage : A New Life Style for Couples
by Nena and O'Neill, George O'Neill
A new reprint of the controversial 1974 book that so influentially challenged the old paradigm of "closed" relationships. The O'Neills inspired a whole generation to rethink the previous assumptions about what marriages ought to look like, attacking the myths of jealousy, ownership, control, imbalance, and a host of other conventional beliefs about marriage. They offered a new way of thinking about relationships that remains as fresh and valid today as it was nearly three decades ago.

Myth of MonogamyMyth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People
by David P. Barash Ph.D., Judith Eve Lipton M.D.
In this book, authors Lipton and Barash take a look at mating patterns throughout the animal kingdom (though they seem to spend more time on behavior in birds than on other animals). The conclusions they draw can be anticipated from the title -- that monogamy is not natural, at least based on biological, physiological, anthropological, and other evidence, and in fact is not as widely practiced as once thought. However, this is not to say, as some reviewers seem to think, that they believe that monogamy is thereby unnatural. In fact, in one place they say, "...even if human beings were more rigidly controlled by their biology, it would be absurd to claim that monogamy is unnatural or abnormal, especially since it was doubtless the way most people lived..." And later on, they affirm that "human inclinations may be able to fit whatever matrimonial pattern happens to exist in the society they happen to experience." But monogamy does go against the grain of human nature, according to the authors, and so you have to work at it.

Three in Love: Menages a Trois from Ancient to Modern Times
by Barbara Foster, Michael Foster (Contributor), Letha Hadady (Contributor)
If longevity is the proof and ménages à trois is the pudding, then Three in Love is an appropriate recipe for this classically suspect concoction. Like any good love story (or collection of love stories), this is an exploration of relationships, not a catalog of sexual exploits. Why are threesomes so popular throughout history? Are some people really better off in a triad than alone or in a duo, and why? What famous figures in art, literature and philosophy seemed to need to be in a triad to be creative? This book looks at these questions, and others. The author's claim that their own 16-year 3 way relationship is as valid as any other arrangement of marriage, the authors offer their defense with a mild dose of psychology amidst examples of famous threesomes--the more familiar (Lord Nelson and the Hamiltons, June & Henry Miller and Anaïs Nin) as well as some surprises.

The New IntimacyThe New Intimacy: Open-Ended Marriage and Alternative Lifestyles
by Ronald M. Mazur
As the 20th century closes, the traditional family has become a minority in America. The threshold of a new millennium is an opportune time to give voice to the intimacies of alternative lifestyles, including open marriage. The New Intimacy: Open-Ended Marriage and Alternative Lifestyles is for non-traditionalists, those ready for new life and love affirmations. The evolution of human consciousness prepares the way for the unfolding of our universal polyamorous potential. Let the pioneers be unafraid to move beyond the ancient limits of relationships to the new intimacy of responsible erotic freedom. May the new millennium be the end of pleasure-phobia.

Heavenly Breakfast, an Essay on the Winter of Love
by Samuel R. Delany
Delany's rich prose does an outstanding job of illuminating the conditions the commune lived in: the four-to-a-bed, communal baths, kitchen arrangements for 15 or so, scrounging for food and dollars, personal hygiene, arguments, discussions, lover arrangements, drugs, and occasionally some working sessions for the band. For those who reached their maturity around this time, who felt the siren call of the counter-culture, every line of this book will resonate, will force memories of and the feel of that time. The character portraits he paints reek of authenticity; the dialogue is real; nothing is left out, no matter how filthy, degrading, lovely, exhalting, boring, unusual or commonplace.

Group Marriage: A Study of Contemporary Multilateral Marriage
by Larry L. Constantine
"The Constantines are straightforward about the inherent limitations of their research (without which it deserves 5 stars), yet even these limits are enlightening. This is the single best book exploring the sociology, dynamics, philosophies, motivations, and pitfalls of group marriage. I consider this a prime addition for the bookshelf of any serious student of group marriage, alternate family structures, polyamory, communes, and responsible nonmonogamy." - Anthony D. Ravenscroft

Intimate Friendships
by James W. Ramey
"Quite possibly the definitive book on nonmonogamous relationships. No, not swinging, not affairs, not simple promiscuity -- this is a well-considered yet concise analysis of people who choose to take on the vastly rewarding burden of group marriage, polyamory, polyfidelity, intimate networks, or whatever you want to call it. Aside from his insight, Ramey has collected some remarkable and true-to-life stories. The greatest facet is that Ramey doesn't have an agenda: while he defends nonmonogamy as emotionally healthy behavior, he doesn't pull any punches when talking about how things can go bad." - Anthony D. Ravenscroft

Pagan Polyamory
by Raven Kaldera
"The term "polyamory" describes non-monogamous relationships based on honesty and affection. Presenting a fascinating peek inside the polyamorous lifestyle from a Pagan perspective, Raven Kaldera offers practical insight and spiritual depth into a vastly misunderstood way of life."
Relating polyamory to astrology and the elements (air, fire, water, earth, and spirit), the author addresses all aspects of the polyamorous life, including family life, sexual ethics, emotional issues, proper etiquette, relationship boundaries, and the pros of cons of this lifestyle. Kaldera also discusses polyamory as a path of spiritual transformation and shares spells, rituals, and ceremonies for affirming one's relationships and spirituality.

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
by Tristan Taormino
"A luscious smorgasbord of non-monogamy as an opportunity for breaking free of one-way models of sex and love. Taormino's discussion is remarkably nuanced and balanced--and encourages readers to proceed with their eyes wide open." -- Jack Morin, PhD, author of The Erotic Mind

The books offered here are purely for educational purposes. PMM is not responsible for the content of the books or the opinions of the authors.